Twitter, Twitter on the Wall.

Published by
iMorph
at October 3, 2008 in Computing. 0 Comments

Who here was initially miffed by Twitter? /me raises hand. I didn’t know what to make of a service where you shouted into the void; 140 characters at a time. “Who cares?” Luckily, I put on my thinking cap and came up with a use for Twitter: A personal journal formatted in the style of a computer log with a dash of Objective-C and old school Telecommunications lingo. It looks like this:

0834 JST [#iTunes #Ripping #CD: James Brown’s 20 All Time Greatest Hits.]: The God Father of SOUL! EOT

Yeah, it looks like a lot of mumbo-jumbo, but there is some logic to it.

Tweet Format

Each tweet starts with a time stamp and the time-zone I am tweeting from - this will probably always be Japan: 

0834 JST

The next bit is enclosed in brackets. The hash tags (#) on the left of the colon are for context. Everything to the right of the colon is the main tweet:

[#iTunes #Ripping #CD: James Brown's 20 All Time Greatest Hits.]

Any extraneous comments are tacked on after the closing bracket and are proceeded by a colon.

: The God Father of SOUL!

The entire mess is then closed with EOT, or End of Transmission.

EOT

All together now!

0834 JST [#iTunes #Ripping #CD: James Brown’s 20 All Time Greatest Hits.]: The God Father of SOUL! EOT

Hashtags & Search.Twitter.

Hashtags:

Hashtags are a community-driven convention for adding additional context and metadata to your tweets. They’re like tags on Flickr, only added inline to your post. You create a hashtag simply by prefixing a word with a hash symbol: #hashtag.

Enjoy!

Happy Birthday to Me?

Published by
iMorph
at September 24, 2008 in Personal. 0 Comments

Birthday Wishes: via Twitter

A mark of true friendship:

  • @imorpheus happy birthday!
  • @iMorpheus hbd :)
  • @iMorpheus happy birthday Derek
  • @iMorpheus Happy birthday, old man.
  • @iMorpheus Happy Birthday!
  • @iMorpheus - Happy Birthday Derek! Hope you’re not working so you can enjoy your day!

Birthday wishes came in via Facebook and email, too.

A Conversation:

  • WIFE: Happy birthday, Honey!
  • ME: Thanks!
  • DAUGHTER #2: It’s daddy’s birthday today!?
  • WIFE: Yeah.
  • DAUGHTER #2: Oops, I had better go email him.
  • ME: I love you, daughter #2.
  • DAUGHTER #2: *SMILES*

That was about 12 hours ago. Still no email. /me sighs.

Blatant, Bold, and Courageous!

Published by
iMorph
at September 22, 2008 in Entertainment? and General. 0 Comments

Crafty Little Esse Oh Bee: Phishing for Fun and Profit.

My spam is better than yous. Check this out!

Due to spam complaints of email users in our webmail system,
our investigation shows that your email address is compromised
and is used to send out spam message in our webmail system.

Very crafty, this one is. Who wants to be blamed for spamming the WORLD!? “OMG, MY mail account is spamming the Internet! How do I make it stop?

As a result, our network engineer will be conducting a maintenance in
our webmail system, your Username will be disabled if you do not send
us the required information within 24hrs.

Now that you are feeling guilty for something you didn’t do, let’s hit you up for some “informations.”

Informations Required:

Your Full Names:
Username:
Password:
Retype Password:

The “Retype Password” adds just the right touch of realism. Good job, guys.

We value your business and thanks for using our Webmail Service.

I bet you do! “Hey, sucka, thanks for your l/p!”

Maintenance Webmail Team. Webmail Upgrading Service
Email: activeweb@mail2consultant.com

Be careful out there folks; the predators are on the loose and they want your data.

My Geehawd on Marketing & Advertising.

Published by
iMorph
at August 25, 2008 in Reflect and humor?. 0 Comments

Futility.

I have had it up to here, with the mindless onslaught of useless advertising and marketing tripe! “We don’t need half the crap they are pushing on us!” If I see one more ad for the following useless, money wasting products, I am going to hurt someone:

  • Toothpaste: Come on, do we really need a special paste just for cleaning our teeth? Soap serves the exact same purpose!
  • Toilet Paper: Special paper to clean up after a deposit? What’s wrong with grabbing a leaf, using your hand, or sprinkling a handful of sand back there? Toilet paper is elitist BS!
  • Cold Medicine: It’s not like a cold can kill you. That’s why they call it the “common cold!”
  • Bleach: Again, a simple bar of soap is all you need to “clean” your clothes. Maybe if people weren’t so into their apparel, this pointless product could be done away with.
  • Contact Lenses: All one needs is a pair of black military issue eyeglasses.
  • Shampoo: Use a bar of soap! How many times do I have to say it?!
  • Pants: Four pair of pants is all any male needs:
    • Blue-collar work pants.
    • White-collar suit pants.
    • Casual pants: For when you want to go out on a date.
    • Pants you wear to the park to play with your kids.
  • Supermarkets: Don’t get me started. Supermarkets are “the man’s” way of killing off gardening and forcing us all to be slaves. Grow your own food and make your own SOAP!
  • Bottle Water: This is a total waste of money! When you are out and about, you don’t need a bottle of water to keep hydrated! Just cup your hands under the faucet in the men’s room after washing your hands! If you aren’t near a pubic restroom, you can just use someone’s hose.
  • Cell Phones: *Sigh* This is the greatest scandal ever! Did you know it is possible to communicate over great distances with two tin cans and a piece of string? Or how about smoke signals? The fire used to generate the smoke serves as a source of heat and a place for cooking.
  • Furniture: Another elitist idea. What is wrong with sitting on the ground, on a rock, or in a tree? If you must have furniture, build your own. Of course, this is after you have forged your own tools.
  • Male Contraceptives: Why waste money on an oversized rubber sock? All you need is a little heat.
  • Computers: Listen, a computer is JUST a big calculator with a 1000$ price tag. Everything you can do with a computer, you can do with a pencil and a pad of paper. Think about.
  • iPod: This is the greatest scam of ALL! The government should provide public singing stations every 50 meters or so. Want to hear a song? Drop a quarter into the cup and hear a song from a public singer.

Live Blogging.

Published by
iMorph
at August 16, 2008 in Uncategorized. 0 Comments

The Race Game :: Expansion Pack.

Published by
iMorph
at January 20, 2008 in Reflect and humor?. 1 Comment

Additional Cards: Minority

  • Jungle Fever Card: Get Your Interracial Love On.

    Excludes bearer(s) from physical, emotional, verbal, and financial attacks/abuse.

    Bearers include offspring of a Jungle-Fever relationship.

  • The Jeffersons/Buppie/Uncle Tom Card: Movin’ on Up.

    Excludes bearer(s) from interference when moving out of a depressed minority neighborhood and into a “White” neighborhood.

    This card can be played against either your own people trying to hold you down or Da Man.

  • White-Guilt.

    This card allows bearer(s) to halt insulting praise, “She is very articulate”, special treatment, and handouts from non-minorities.

  • Token Minority.

    Bearer(s) do not count as a Cultural-diversity point for non-minorities.

NEW! White Devil Cards!

You can play too! Check out these new cards!

  • Hard-Luck Story: Hey, just because I am not a person-of-color doesn’t mean I am privileged!

    This card allows the bearer(s) to counter the standard Race Card™

    You no longer need to feel guilty just because of the color of your skin.

  • Keepin’ It Real.

    Bearer(s) can invoke this card when a minority displays “ghetto” behavior.

    This card cannot be used to negate the Jeffersons/Buppie/Uncle Tom card.

A Sad Conversation.

Published by
iMorph
at January 1, 2008 in Japan and Reflect. 2 Comments

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)

What is the American dream? Dictionary.app says it is:

The American dream is the traditional social ideals of the U.S., such as equality, democracy, and material prosperity.

Yeah? So, the next question is, what is the Japanese dream?

The Public Has Spoken. Sort of.

  • ME: What is the Japanese dream?
  • HER (Nao): Japanese dream? There isn’t one!
  • ME: There isn’t?
  • HER: We don’t have a dream….
  • ME: Come on, there has to be something.
  • HER: Well….ummmm. Oh! Stability! We want stability! We don’t like change.
  • NARRATOR: Nao confers with her brother and his wife.
  • HER: Yeah, stability. For most men they want to work for the same company until retirement which is what wives expect from their husbands.
  • ME: That’s it? Don’t you want anything? [The ugly American displaying his inability to grok that the Japanese are not slaves to consumerism like oil-hungry SUV-driving Americans.] /me suppresses a bout of laughter.
  • HER: A HOUSE! We want to own our own homes!
  • NARRATOR: Brother and sister-in-law nod vigorously in agreement.
  • ME: That’s it?
  • HER: Yeah. We are totally afraid of change and don’t take chances. Not like Americans. You guys always have dreams and try to do things. [Dejected.] We don’t have dreams. Nothing, yo.

NOTE: Wife said the exact same thing, but I didn’t believe her. Sorry, honey.

The FEAR(TM) ReadMe.

Published by
iMorph
at December 17, 2007 in Personal and Reflect. 0 Comments

FEAR™ 1.01

===================================================

WHAT IS FEAR™?

FEAR™ is a system-wide background service designed to watch for and avoid life-threatening situations. When a FEAR™ daemon is called it automatically takes control of BODY and executes a scripted avoidance response. FEAR™ has two run modes AUTO and manual.

USAGE:

FEAR™ can be edited by the user in manual mode when the a) user requests access AFTER a life threatening event to set up a daemon or b) user would like to edit/review a FEAR™ daemon’s triggers and priority. This includes deletion of a daemon.

To use FEAR™ in manual mode take relevant output from PowersOfObservations™ and enter it into the appropriate categories below:

- Situation leading up to life threatening event.

- Date

- Time

- Location

- Animate and inanimate objects

- Color(s)

- Sound(s)

- Smell(s)

- Weather condition

NOTE* Ensure that PowersOfObservation™ (PoW) is NOT set to VERBOSE. (See KNOWN ISSUES.)

Add action required to avoid situation in the future and set the daemon’s priority to HIGH, MEDIUM, AND LOW.

NOTE* Inclusion of the above is dictated by the user, unless in AUTO mode. In AUTO mode FEAR™ determines data to be included. USE AUTO MODE WITH CAUTION!

KNOWN ISSUES:

- FEAR™ does not store verbose data generated by POW. Verbose output from POW exceeds FEAR’s available table layout causing FEAR™ to assign multiple entries to one field. Set PoW’s logging to normal when using in conjunction with FEAR™.

- DO NOT LEAVE FEAR™ UNATTENDED IN AUTO MODE! If left unattended, Fear™ has been known to set random and non-life threatening events as dangerous. It is highly advised that users a) not leave FEAR™ in AUTO mode and b ) run RealityCheck on a regular basis, c) make necessary changes in edit mode.

- A bug exists where the FEAR™ run mode is set to AUTO at birth. Set run mode to Manual.

- Over time as the number of daemons related to FEAR™ increase they are known to interfere with both LogicalThought™ and RationalBehavior™.

NOTES:

FEAR™ has not been updated since the .01 release and may not function properly with current versions of BODY. The given addresses below are known to bounce. Some claim to have actually received replies but this is questionable.

SEE ALSO:

Adrenalin(1), BladderControl, HeartRate, RemainConscious, and Sweat 0.2a.

===================================================

Please send FEAR™ bug reports to <prayers.God@heaven.com>.

MAINTAINER: GOD <God@heaven.com>

FEAR™ was originally written by God.

Copyright (C) #### Genesis Foundation, Inc.

This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,

but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of

MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. <– stolen from actual Readme file.

The Main Thrust.

The question that inspired the above is, how do you modify the behavior of a large group of people without making a mess? Since two brains are better than one, I enlisted Stephanie’s help. Submitted for your approval is our four-step plan to converting those who are afraid of how change will affect them:

  1. The people wanting the change have to be aware that resistance is due to fear. Fear of the unknown and loss of power.
  2. Help those you want to change to discuss and confront their fears: What are you afraid might happen if we do [new thing]?” — and make a list (giving shape to fears so they can be confronted to reality)
  3. The Reality Check: Examine the shape the fear takes (identified in #2) and evaluating if it is “real.”
  4. Offer solution: “If we found a solution to fear object #X, would you be comfortable with [new thing]?”

Linkage.

Bright Idea #465,923.

Published by
iMorph
at December 2, 2007 in Reflect. 0 Comments

Married With Children/The Wild Gamblers: Why Your Parents are Completely Nuts.

They had you. Not only did they have you, they opted to keep you. For better or for worse, they promised society that they would take responsibility for you. Armed with an arsenal of hopes and dreams, they rolled the dice of life. Spun the wheel of chance. Skated on the thin ice. The possible negative outcomes were unlimited: Lil’ Kim, Chris Crocker, Goatse.cx guy, Star Wars Kid, Britney Spears, O. J., Sir John Major, etc. Anything was and still is possible. Guess what? You will probably make the same, oops, I meant, do the same thing. I’ll stop here and let that sink in. “You will do the same thing.”

Okay? Stop crying. I have a solution. Okay, not so much a solution.

My Dream: An army of real-life Hiro Nakamuras, Maias, and Isaac Mendezes.

Wouldn’t it be great! They would just pop up right before the vital deposit was made! “Hi. Ummm, you might want to rethink releasing/accepting that load. Just a thought.”

It is HERE!

Published by
iMorph
at November 28, 2007 in Computing and Notices. 0 Comments

Plusplusbot

Twitter gets a karma bot! Ladies and gentlemen, meet plusplusbot! For those of you thinking, “Jeez, what the hell is Derek on about this time,” read on:

Did someone go out of their way to help you? Is a web site being particularly slow and flaky? Make your feelings known with plusplusbot. You can ++ (pronounced “plusplus”) or — (”minusminus”) anything. Think brownie points (but archived forever).

Why plusplus and minusminus?

An Explanation: Programming: The Increment Operator.

Geek zone ahead:

If foo has the value 4, then the expression foo++ has the value 4, but it changes the value of foo to 5.

The decrement “–” operator does the opposite. Are we all clear on that?

Plusplusbot++ A mighty swell bot.