Riots and Rioting

Posted by on July 1, 2010 No comments
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What is it Good For?

I’m not a fan of rioting; it’s a dangerous low-paying occupation. It also alienates you from the rest of the public:

What a useless exercise. What a waste of money and resources. Those self-indulgent, adolescently rebellious little Black Blocheads with their destructive street theatre accomplished absolutely nothing except to enhance their own pathetic sense of self-worth.

Source (Toronto Sun)

See.

A piece on riots and rioting:

  • The Cato Journal Vol. 14 No. 1 by David D. Haddock and Daniel D. Polsby: Understanding Riots.

    • It would be very difficult indeed to “stage” a riot. A person who set out to do so would encounter a series of difficult challenges. When should the riot be held? Where? How should the participants be notified? Once marshaled, how should they be instigated to behave in a way that would expose them to arrest? Trying to organize a riot as though it were a company picnic would quickly attract the attention of the police. And with the police watching, who would be brave enough to cast the first stone?

    How, then, do riots begin?

I don’t have the answer to that question. What I do have for you, dear reader, are pics.

A Flickr Gallery: Civil Unrest :: Curated by Me

Student Demonstration (46) - 27Nov07, Paris (France)
Taken by: Philippe Leroyer

Telephone Etiquette: Appropriate Call Times.

Posted by on January 16, 2010 No comments

Somnus
Sleep is awesome. According to this Ask Yahoo! page, we burn calories while we sleep:

This weight-loss calculator from FitWatch.com asked us to enter our weight and how long we planned to sleep. According to the ensuing calculations, a 160-pound person who sleeps eight hours will lose roughly 549 calories in the process.

Don’t ask.

Derek’s Original Sleep Diet™!: Lose the blubber while you slumber!
Don’t have time for the gym? Don’t have enough for a Pilates trainer? Don’t have space in your home for workout equipment? Don’t worry! Derek’s Original Sleep Diet™ is for you! Call now!

My future. I sees it clear ass day.

Unwanted Wake-up Call.

Our neighborhood council leader rang us at 0833 this morning with non-earth shattering news. Calls should never be placed to anyone, unless you have plans, before 10 am on a Saturday. There are exceptions. Here is the checklist:

  • Is Godzilla thrashing Tokyo Bay?
  • Is the planet on fire?
  • Is the Sun about to crash into the Earth?
  • Is there a tattooed Romulan named Nero drilling down to the Earth’s core?
  • Daleks?
  • Giant tidal waves?
  • Fire falling from the sky?
  • Massive asteroids?
  • The Earth’s rotation is out of contro?
  • Animals of Earth working together?
  • Collision with antimatter Earth imminent?
  • Vogon Constructor Fleet?

No? Then DON’T CALL!
Options

Allow me to suggests several non-intrusive methods of communication:

  1. Email
  2. Letter
  3. Post-it on door
  4. Tweet
  5. Instant Message
  6. Blog post

If the above are not viable, CALL AFTER 10 AM!
Resources:

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. First!

Posted by on June 20, 2009 10 comments

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen.

That rocked! If you left Transformers 1 feeling a bit blah, 2 makes up for it at least three or four times over. Are their Transformers? Yes. A lot of Transformers? Yes! Transformers blowing shit up? YES! Transformers finding new and exciting ways to beat the living radiator coolant out of each other? Uh-huh! The CGI/Digital fight choreography was dizzying! [Insert old school Batman & Robin fight sounds.]

This particular screening was rather special as @stevenagata over at The Western World pointed out:

IMAX Digital just started in Japan today with the first three theaters opening with the Transformers 2 opening night.

Each patron received a “Certificate” stating that he/she was, indeed, “First!”
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Did I mention that a lot of stuff gets blown up in this movie?

Dinner: The Unhappy Bit of the Evening.

Prior to the geekgasmic viewing of T’formers, dinner failure was experienced by Steve and I. For some inexplicable reason, our food failed to arrive within a reasonable amount of time, so we ended up canceling our order and viewing the movie on empty stomaches. Okay, I had ice cream.

A Few Photos from the Evening.

  • This was dinner. I did manage to snake Steve’s miso soup.
    Sad Dinner
  • Visit your local cinema to view the poster in color.
    Transformers 2 Poster
  • The obligatory group shot sans a few of the other participants.Transformers Night Group Shot

Go see Transformers 2.

My Favorite Place: Rotating Beneath my Feet.

Posted by on May 22, 2009 4 comments

Getting There: Let’s Go By Train.

My first trip to Kyoto was also my first 新幹線/shinkan-sen train experience. I would personally like to thank all the engineers who spent hours ruining their eyes, health, and marriages to bring the bullet train to the quivering masses. The Shinkan-sen is unrivaled awesomeness: A wingless plane on rails.

Shinkansen.jpg

My Favorite Place: The Train.
Excluding my morning commute, I love traveling by train. My role is to simply enjoy the scenery gliding by and the company.

Getting There.jpg

The journey is not the same for everyone:

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お世話様: Thanks to the conductors, cabin attendants, and engineers.

Without you, we would have to walk…a lot.

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My thoughts on being in a bad marriage and then getting divorced:

Posted by on October 29, 2008 3 comments

First, you are all blocked up: you spend days grunting out little rabbit pellets. Not wanting to admit you are constipated, you go about life – basically denying that something is horribly wrong. Then one day you decide, “Right, time for some fiber, yogurt, and anything else that will get things flowing. The pain and suffering be DAMNED!”

You wait.

And wait.

Slowly, a war is waged deep down in your bowels and gas is expelled. Something is afoot. The urge to purge – baahahahahaha – is great. There is no avoiding the impending voiding of the nether region.

It is going to hurt, a lot. Especially, dear reader, that initial clump/mass of feces.

“Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! OHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GOD,” you will scream. “Why did I eat all of that yogurt! That renkon! I FEEELS IT!!” Death would be a far easier fate to bear than the passing of this monstrosity!

You think you hear tearing, “Please, God, noooooooo! How will I explain a torn anus to the medical staff? ‘Oh, hai! Ummm, I…ummm…you see, what happened was….*sigh*’ If there is blood, I’m going to faint.”

You bear down. The amount of pressure and energy being generated to pass this redwood, could launch a space shuttle. Your vision blurs and tears streak down your face. Suddenly, you realize, the bulk of this offensive deposit is approaching the exit. If you can just manage to stay conscious, you can squeeze it out. Your anus screams, “NO! NO! Send it back! IT’S TOO BIG! DO NOT WANT!”

Wall. Hands pressed against wall. Through gritted teeth, you growl and fling your head back. You cannot hold back a howl, as the largest and hardest turd that you have ever experienced, explodes out of your ass. You think to yourself, “God, is this what man-sex is like? I’ll pass!”

The flood gates have been opened and a torrent of solid, oversized excreta zooms into the bowl. You come close to fainting.

Just as you think, “No mas! No mas,” the flow slows and droppings of normal size and consistency slide down the chute. It is over. You are free. FREE! FREEEEEEEEEEEE!

Keeping with tradition, you take a peek into the amazon and witness, what you will later swear was a water python, the concrete like substance, “My God, did I pass that? I had better check for blood. Whew, all clear.”

You wipe, pull up your pants, place your hand on the lever, take a final look at the horrid dung snake occupying your toilet bowl, and then, ladies and gentlemen, YOU FLUSH.

The End.

Twitter, Twitter on the Wall.

Posted by on October 3, 2008 2 comments
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Who here was initially miffed by Twitter? /me raises hand. I didn’t know what to make of a service where you shouted into the void; 140 characters at a time. “Who cares?” Luckily, I put on my thinking cap and came up with a use for Twitter: A personal journal formatted in the style of a computer log with a dash of Objective-C and old school Telecommunications lingo. It looks like this:

0834 JST [#iTunes #Ripping #CD: James Brown's 20 All Time Greatest Hits.]: The God Father of SOUL! EOT

Yeah, it looks like a lot of mumbo-jumbo, but there is some logic to it.

Tweet Format

Each tweet starts with a time stamp and the time-zone I am tweeting from – this will probably always be Japan:

0834 JST

The next bit is enclosed in brackets. The hash tags (#) on the left of the colon are for context. Everything to the right of the colon is the main tweet:

[#iTunes #Ripping #CD: James Brown's 20 All Time Greatest Hits.]

Any extraneous comments are tacked on after the closing bracket and are proceeded by a colon.

: The God Father of SOUL!

The entire mess is then closed with EOT, or End of Transmission.

EOT

All together now!

0834 JST [#iTunes #Ripping #CD: James Brown's 20 All Time Greatest Hits.]: The God Father of SOUL! EOT

Hashtags & Search.Twitter.

Hashtags:

Hashtags are a community-driven convention for adding additional context and metadata to your tweets. They’re like tags on Flickr, only added inline to your post. You create a hashtag simply by prefixing a word with a hash symbol: #hashtag.

Enjoy!

Happy Birthday to Me?

Posted by on September 24, 2008 No comments

Birthday Wishes: via Twitter

A mark of true friendship:

  • @imorpheus happy birthday!
  • @iMorpheus hbd :)
  • @iMorpheus happy birthday Derek
  • @iMorpheus Happy birthday, old man.
  • @iMorpheus Happy Birthday!
  • @iMorpheus – Happy Birthday Derek! Hope you’re not working so you can enjoy your day!

Birthday wishes came in via Facebook and email, too.

A Conversation:

  • WIFE: Happy birthday, Honey!
  • ME: Thanks!
  • DAUGHTER #2: It’s daddy’s birthday today!?
  • WIFE: Yeah.
  • DAUGHTER #2: Oops, I had better go email him.
  • ME: I love you, daughter #2.
  • DAUGHTER #2: *SMILES*

That was about 12 hours ago. Still no email. /me sighs.

Blatant, Bold, and Courageous!

Posted by on September 22, 2008 No comments

Crafty Little Esse Oh Bee: Phishing for Fun and Profit.

My spam is better than yous. Check this out!

Due to spam complaints of email users in our webmail system,
our investigation shows that your email address is compromised
and is used to send out spam message in our webmail system.

Very crafty, this one is. Who wants to be blamed for spamming the WORLD!? “OMG, MY mail account is spamming the Internet! How do I make it stop?

As a result, our network engineer will be conducting a maintenance in
our webmail system, your Username will be disabled if you do not send
us the required information within 24hrs.

Now that you are feeling guilty for something you didn’t do, let’s hit you up for some “informations.”

Informations Required:

Your Full Names:
Username:
Password:
Retype Password:

The “Retype Password” adds just the right touch of realism. Good job, guys.

We value your business and thanks for using our Webmail Service.

I bet you do! “Hey, sucka, thanks for your l/p!”

Maintenance Webmail Team. Webmail Upgrading Service
Email: activeweb@mail2consultant.com

Be careful out there folks; the predators are on the loose and they want your data.

My Geehawd on Marketing & Advertising.

Posted by on August 25, 2008 No comments

Futility.

I have had it up to here, with the mindless onslaught of useless advertising and marketing tripe! “We don’t need half the crap they are pushing on us!” If I see one more ad for the following useless, money wasting products, I am going to hurt someone:

  • Toothpaste: Come on, do we really need a special paste just for cleaning our teeth? Soap serves the exact same purpose!
  • Toilet Paper: Special paper to clean up after a deposit? What’s wrong with grabbing a leaf, using your hand, or sprinkling a handful of sand back there? Toilet paper is elitist BS!
  • Cold Medicine: It’s not like a cold can kill you. That’s why they call it the “common cold!”
  • Bleach: Again, a simple bar of soap is all you need to “clean” your clothes. Maybe if people weren’t so into their apparel, this pointless product could be done away with.
  • Contact Lenses: All one needs is a pair of black military issue eyeglasses.
  • Shampoo: Use a bar of soap! How many times do I have to say it?!
  • Pants: Four pair of pants is all any male needs:
    • Blue-collar work pants.
    • White-collar suit pants.
    • Casual pants: For when you want to go out on a date.
    • Pants you wear to the park to play with your kids.
  • Supermarkets: Don’t get me started. Supermarkets are “the man’s” way of killing off gardening and forcing us all to be slaves. Grow your own food and make your own SOAP!
  • Bottled Water: This is a total waste of money! When you are out and about, you don’t need a bottle of water to keep hydrated! Just cup your hands under the faucet in the men’s room after washing your hands! If you aren’t near a public restroom, you can just use someone’s hose.
  • Cell Phones: *Sigh* This is the greatest scandal ever! Did you know it is possible to communicate over great distances with two tin cans and a piece of string? Or how about smoke signals? The fire used to generate the smoke serves as a source of heat and a place for cooking.
  • Furniture: Another elitist idea. What is wrong with sitting on the ground, on a rock, or in a tree? If you must have furniture, build your own. Of coupublicrse, this is after you have forged your own tools.
  • Male Contraceptives: Why waste money on an oversized rubber sock? All you need is a little heat.
  • Computers: Listen, a computer is JUST a big calculator with a 1000$ price tag. Everything you can do with a computer, you can do with a pencil and a pad of paper. Think about it.
  • iPod: This is the greatest scam of ALL! The government should provide public singing stations every 50 meters or so. Want to hear a song? Drop a quarter into the cup and hear a song from a public singer.

Live Blogging.

Posted by on August 16, 2008 No comments