Epimetheus

Is That Natural: What Crawled up Your Ass and Died!?

Since, the facilities on the 2nd floor of Daiei have loose pipes that leak, I have taken my *business* to the 4th floor WC. The western toilet comes equipped with a nice sensor to flush with and the plumbing is solid. As with anything, the 4th floor has its short comings.

To: Young High School Student.
Re: Stank.

I know the human body produces waste and that waste is usually unpleasant.
Unfortunately, whatever it was you left in the stall behind me, was wicked
and unnatural. 

Recommendation: Get yourself checked out.

From Wikipedia Pancreatitis:

Patients with chronic pancreatitis can present with persistent abdominal pain or steatorrhea (diarhhea resulting from malabsorption of the fats in food, typically very bad-smelling and equally hard on the patient), as well as severe nausea.

Is That Natural: Your Muffler Is Busted.

To: Middle-aged Businessman.
Re: Noise Pollution.

There was a plethora of sound emanating from your side of the wall. What
was going on over there? There was definitely flatulence of the wet
and cheek flapping type accompanied by a distinct squirting sound.
I hope you didn't get any of that on your clothing. There was also
some sort of deep whumping sound between the cheek flapping and squirting.
I can only assume that was something solid. As unpleasant as the experience
may be, in the future, please refrain from groaning and letting
out yelps in the process.

Recommendation: Change your diet and visit your local clinic.

From Wikipedia. Diarrhea:

Diarrhea can also be a symptom of more serious diseases, such as dysentery, cholera, or botulism and can also be indicative of a chronic syndrome such as Crohn’s disease.