Archive for May, 2006

One Thing Leads to Another.

Published by
iMorph
at May 21, 2006 in Entertainment? and General. 0 Comments

Lead Your Significant Other to Anal Tattoos, Anal Bleaching, and a Fresh Smelling Anus.
Gateway URLS:

  • Really Bad Tattoos Page 1: Innocent first page. You know, nothing to racy.
  • Really Bad Tattoos Page 2: If you find the male genitals offensive or are under the age of 18, don’t click on this one. I am serious. Don’t click. If you click and are either a) offended or b) busted by your parents, do not blame me. You have been warned. For the rest of you, you may want to rush down to the last set of photos on this page. PERVERTS.
  • Really Bad Tattoos Page 3: Weird Al? Mariah? Anchorman? Huh?

Done? Sides hurt? Good. Now, boys and girls, it is time for the “hard stuff”:

Some heavily tattooed people choose to have their genital and anal regions tattooed to complete the work they have over much of their bodies.

This is “why they hate us.” I am convinced this is what’s driving the jihadi into a frenzy. Anyway, on to the promised “hard stuff”:

Whitestarr NOTE: No links provided below, due to wanky page design.

  • Tattooing:

    “There are 3 colors available at the moment with which WhiteStarr is able to tattoo the anus,” and, “Once having been tattooed it takes an average of 5 years before the color has to be refreshed.”

    Refreshed?

  • Bleaching:

    “As opposed to other bleaching methods the inner part of the anus will also be bleached,” and, “In order to let the somewhat sore feeling upperlayer of the anus recover faster we also recommend the WhiteStarr aftertreatment.”

    How kind of WhiteStarr to have an After Care program. How sweet. Speaking of…

  • Fresh Smell:

    “no more nasty smells and always a fresh taste’.”

    Again, “This is why they hate us.

Ah, one more quote from the Fresh Smell page, “There now is the possibility to choose between the smells Citron, Strawberry and lets not forget the robust smell of Sweet wood.”

Thanks.

Everyone thank Ms. Freud over at Freud’s Nuthouse for the Really Bad Tattoos linkage.

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Dance. Dance. Dance. Daaaance.

Published by
iMorph
at May 11, 2006 in Links. 1 Comment

Get Your Freak On: Dancing Through the Ages.

Not much to say. Oh, wait, he doesn’t do the Elaine Marie Benes dance. Truly bad dancing can be seen in this ad: Really, really, really bad dancer.

“We Come in Peace.”

Published by
iMorph
at May 9, 2006 in Japan. 0 Comments

Get your Freak On!

Capt. Kirk loved the ladies. To prove it, he sucked face with a hundred-tentacled creature from outside our galaxy with a human form. (Does this mean that Kirk did the first tentacle pR0n?) Anyway, some folks claim to have “done it” with aliens. Ew. Read:

Elizabeth Klarer was one of the first women, who allegedly had a love affair with an extraterrestrial man. In 1956 she fell in love with a ‘man’ named Akon. The alien took her to his home planet Metok. He seduced the woman there and Elizabeth delivered a boy. After that the alien did not need the woman anymore and he sent her back to Earth. Elizabeth Klarer died in solitude in 1994 in South Africa. She strongly believed her son Ayling remained somewhere in Alpha Centauri.

I believe it should have read, “The alien took her back to his interstellar love shack…”

Come on, I know some guys travel great lengths to get a piece, but traveling incredible distances just for some Earth poontang? Are Earth women that GOOD? More interstellar love follows:

It became known in the 1950s, aliens often visited Earth with matrimonial purposes. Well-known American contactee Howard Menger was one of the few humans, who had a chance to meet an alien female. The ‘woman’s’ name was Marla. She said she was born 500 years ago in the Constellation of Leo. Menger fell deeply in love with the woman from space. He divorced his wife and married Marla. The latter obtained the American citizenship and preferred the comfort of Menger’s house to intergalactic flights.

Marla? What kind of alien name is that? Pffft.

They Are Amongst Us: My Photographic Proof.

What you have all been waiting for! That’s right, aliens in Japan. No, no not illegal aliens or hard working immigrants in the English teaching field. No, what I have got right here on flickr is photographic proof that extraterrestrials reside in Japan. Stop laughing! These photos were taken in Fussa-shi, Tokyo-to.

Random Link: Scary Movie 4

Ummmm:

To score points you must shoot and kill the Scary Movie 4 characters as they pop up on the screen. To kill a character you must shoot its head off so it explodes.

Charming.

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Senna:

Published by
iMorph
at May 1, 2006 in Notices. 0 Comments

There Can be Only One.

Before the start of the 1994 season, Senna said, “It’s going to be a season with lots of accidents, and I’ll risk saying that we’ll be lucky if something really serious doesn’t happen.” Ayrton Senna da Silva (March 21, 1960–May 1, 1994):

On the second lap after the restart, Senna’s car left the track in Tamburello and struck an unprotected concrete wall. Telemetry shows he left the track at 193 mph and managed to slow the car to 135 mph in less than two seconds but it was not enough.

All that was left.
Imola: Tamburello

The run-off areas at the track were worrying, a fact highlighted in 1987 with Nelson Piquet having a huge accident at Tamburello Corner when he suffered a high-speed tire failure. In 1989 Gerhard Berger had a similar accident but his ended with the Ferrari in flames. He was plucked from the wreck by alert fire fighters and suffered only light injuries.

Imola’s luck ran out in 1994 when Grand Prix racing endured a nightmare weekend with the death of Roland Ratzenberger at Villeneuve Corner in qualifying and, on race day, the accident which claimed the life of the great Ayrton Senna. It was the end for Tamburello Corner.

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