Green Eggs and Ham. A Classic.
We all have a copy of this somewhere, yes? If you don’t, well then, shame on you.
That Sam-I-am:
Do you like green eggs and ham?
Would you like them here or there?
Would you like them in a house?
Would you like them with a mouse?
Would you eat them in a box?
Would you eat them with a fox?
Would you? Could you? In a car?
Could you, would you, on a train?
Would you, could you, in the dark?
Would you, could you, in the rain?
Could you, would you, with a goat?
Would you, could you, on a boat?
You do not like them.
So you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
That Sam-I-am stayed the course. Green Eggs and Ham.
A Challenge.
From snopes.com
Claim: Dr. Seuss wrote Green Eggs and Ham after being challenged by his editor to produce a book using fewer than fifty different words.
Status: True.
Click here for “the rest of the story.”
Inspiration via IRC. Again.
Is it obvious IRC has a hold on me?
Box_Nine can be found here.
Mind Your Manners?
You would think the following questions would be rhetorical, but unfortunately, they are not.
-
You are sitting on a stool enjoying Kaiten Zushi (回転寿司). Do you:
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pick up the plates, examine the contents, and then return the plate to the conveyor belt?
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visually examine the content as it passes by and pick up only the plate of sushi you intend on eating?
Please. For the love of all that is holy. Choose b.
-
When out at a restaurant, have you ever:
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used a toothpick to remove that one piece of offensive food lodge between your teeth?
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wiped your hands on a napkin to remove oil and other debris?
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pulled out a Q-tip and started digging earwax out of your ear?
….
-
Back to Kaiten Zushi. As a plate of roasted chestnuts passes by do you:
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remove the plate and then divvy up the chestnuts?
*Sigh* or
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grab a handful of chestnuts for yourself and then an extra large handful for your two friends; thus, leaving a few chestnuts for the other customers to stare at in disbelief?
Kaiten Zushi rules are simple. Here they are: If you touch a plate, it is yours.
- Final hygiene question. Is it okay to pluck your eyebrows in a restaurant and then put the unwanted hairs in one of the cups at your table?
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Yes.This is the wrong answer.
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NO.
-
Maybe?
-
(P)ossible? (I)mpossible?
No, right? Think again.
Guy-pouring-money-into-one-of-those-crane-games, or UFO Catcher, in my local video store, “Hey, I know I can pick up this case of ramen!”
I am sorry, good sir, but there are only two paddle/hook thingies that are designed to pick up stuffed animals at your disposal. You will not succeed.
NOTE* I am aware that I am far from perfect. Points out the time he destroyed the handiwork of one a waiter. This waiter had spent a fair amount of time fashioning the tinfoil surrounding my leftovers into a duck. Without looking, I grabbed it and bunched it up. According to KB, the waiter was a bit upset. Sorry, dude.
Jargon.
My other half hates computer Jargon. Her, “What is firmware? What is a preference file? What is a driver?” For the average user, firmware probably makes little or no sense. The same goes for preferences and drivers. Drivers:
Small programs that tell your computer exactly what the hardware or peripheral is and how it is to work properly with your computer and it’s OS. There can be thousands of each type of hardware component made for computers and each one will have different drivers for every OS made - if you do not use the correct driver for the hardware or peripheral and your OS, chances are it will not work properly, if at all! Most OS’s have generic drivers, just enough to get the computer running and allow the user to install the proper driver.
Makes sense to me. I am sure this is confusing for some. Clause complex:
A sentence can be interpreted as a clause complex: a Head clause together with other clauses that modify it. A combination of clauses related paratactically or hypotactically but not through embedding; the mode of combination is the mode of organization of the logical subtype of the ideational metafunction. For example, clauses combined through coordination form a clause complex. The notion of ‘clause complex’ thus enables us to account in full for the functional organization of sentences.
Huh?
Apple Hardware and Linux Drivers. The Story of a Question and an Answer.
Guy A stumbled into our little IRC channel requesting assistance/information. Little did he know, his poorly constructed question would end up being criticized before being answered.
- Guy A: does mac supply drivers for linux?
- Guy B: First things first, Mac is PRODUCT, not a company. Secondly why would Apple, who makes the Mac and it’s associated operating system provide drivers for a free open source operating system?
- Guy B: So the answer is, “No”. However; there are NUMEROUS linux distros that work just fine on the Mac platform. 30 seconds on google would have shown you that.
- Guy A: [Silence]
Honestly, guy A should have phrased his question something like this, “Will Linux run on Apple hardware?” Unfortunately, he did not.
Find it for Me: Spotlight.
- Spotlight:
-
Spotlight is an as-you-type, system-wide desktop search feature found in Mac OS X v10.4. Using a metadata search engine, Spotlight is designed to locate a wide variety of items on the computer, including documents, pictures, music, applications, System Preference panes, as well as specific words in documents and PDFs. It allows the user to narrow down searches with creation dates, modification dates, sizes, types and other attributes.
Sounds pretty bad-ass, right? It is.
We Don’t Need Your Stinkin’ Desktop Search! IRC Brilliance Re-visited.
HIM: So what query input field were you talking about? That of Spotlight?
ME: in the top right-hand corner of the window there is an input field.
ME: type: Display.
HIM: Would that work if I cancelled Spotlight?
ME: what do you mean by, "Cancelled spotlight"?
HIM: I disabled it.
ME: why would you do that?
HIM: Because I never search for anything.
“You can have it fast, cheap or good - pick two.”
KB went for cheap and good storage. He forgot about fast.
- KB: so i got this 4gb flash drive for $75. i think i told you that much
and it’s hella slow.
- ME: Uh, huh.
- KB: i thought, “ok, reformat as mac, and it’ll be better”. Problem: can’t be formatted as anything other than MSDOS. i read forums–it’s slow even on Windows
- ME: *Hmmm, I wonder what he means by slow*
- KB: 500mb file copy, 1 hour!!!
- ME: ugh.
- KB: i can download 500mb in 25 min at home.
- ME: you could burn a CD faster than that.
- KB: so i sell it to a friend who doesn’t need high-performance and will be running on Windows where it’s a little faster.
- ME: *Damn it, I was going to ask for it*
- KB: meanwhile, i had given my 512mb Verbatim flash to a friend.
- ME: *I could have used that*
- KB: i ended up getting a 2gb verbatim for $75
- ME: *Sweet. Wonder if this one is going to work*
- KB: time to copy 500mb, 2 minutes
- ME: OMG.
- KB: i guess you get what you pay for
- ME: Exactly.
- KB: other moral: don’t buy Transcend drives.
Links.
Buy at your own risk: cheap transcend usb flash drives - Google Search. The Canadian Purchase.
Kids These Days.
Questions: During your formative years, did you ever
- sneak into your mom’s handbag, snake her Junior Mints, eat them, and then have the presence of mind to lie in your sleep when she asks, “Did you eat my Junior Mints?”
- consume an entire bag of sugarless candy and then puke all over your bed later that night?
- sneak into the living room on xmas morning, @ 5:00 AM, to see what your parents got you for xmas?
- fill your parents email inbox with fake spam?
Here is a spam, or 迷惑メール (mewaku mail), sample from my youngest:
哇：k；葉fsdh＿いr：pygクェリオy」＠えrhg＠おhjlファ哇＠フォpjg」＠おjrgq＠えrhq＠経ろp：クェp路gj」＠えrgh「得ろh」追えrjh」：ウェrh所得rhジェrとphジェオrth」：えwjh：えいおptrhjp：えいおjh：ポエ＠＠rjg」qペオjhポエ＠：ポエhポエジェjh歩jhfd歩qjへr歩h路ぇhんp＠得おrthジェ「hジェオtjへ老いpthピオエthジェピテェjth＠追えj＠」エオ哇：k；葉fsdh＿いr：pygクェリオy」＠えrhg＠おhjlファ哇＠フォpjg」＠おjrgq＠えrhq＠経ろp：クェp路gj」＠えrgh「得ろh」追えrjh」：ウェrh所得rhジェrとphジェオrth」：えwjh：えいおptrhjp：えいおjh：ポエ＠＠rjg」qペオjhポエ＠：ポエhポエジェjh歩jhfd歩qjへr歩h路ぇhんp＠得おrthジェ「hジェオtjへ老いpthピオエthジェピテェjth＠追えj＠」エオ哇：k；葉fsdh＿いr：pygクェリオy」＠えrhg＠おhjlファ哇＠フォpjg」＠おjrgq＠えrhq＠経ろp：クェp路gj」＠えrgh「得ろh」追えrjh」：ウェrh所得rhジェrとphジェオrth」：えwjh：えいおptrhjp：えいおjh：ポエ＠＠rjg」qペオjhポエ＠：ポエhポエジェjh歩jhfd歩qjへr歩h路ぇhんp＠得おrthジェ「h
She was kind enough to say, “Make sure to scroll down to the bottom.” I scrolled, and scrolled, and scrolled, and finally reached the bottom of the message. There was nothing but more garbled text. I said, “There is nothing but garbled text!” Her comeback, “Of course, that’s why they call it 迷惑メール!”
Smart-ass. We will be shipping her off to boarding school on Monday.
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