Archive for January, 2007

American?

Published by
iMorph
at January 28, 2007 in Japan, Personal and Reflect. 4 Comments

The Criteria: The Questions.

Group one: Don’t you…

  • have a gun in your house? No.
  • like Coke? Coke? Phuck Coke! Dr. Pepper all the way!
  • play baseball? Ugh, baseball is boring.
  • play basketball? …

Group two: You always…., don’t you?

  • have a hamburger for lunch Yeah. At least three or four. Just the other day…
  • wear a T-shirt outside even during winter Do I look white to you?
  • drink Budwieser Again, do I look white to you?
  • go to church on Sundays Taoist don’t attend church.
  • walk in the house with your shoes on Not only do I walk around in my shoes I spit, piss, and crap on the floor.

Group three: Why do all Americans….?

  • talk so much at the dinner table Why does a bear shit in the woods?
  • cheat on their spouses Sigh.
  • drive big cars Like the Camary, Accord, S2000, etc?

Obviously, I am not American.

RoW for the American Man. Chapter VII: On Being French.

Published by
iMorph
at January 21, 2007 in Entertainment? and Personal. 2 Comments

On Being French: A Sample Conversation.

What follows is not a work of fiction:

  • Frenchie: hi
  • ME: *To answer or not to answer. I cannot resist.* hi.
  • Frenchie: asl
  • ME: *asl! WTF! That is so 20th Century IRC* you first.
  • Frenchie: 30 m
  • Frenchie: france
  • Frenchie: u
  • ME: 39, M, Tokyo.
  • Frenchie: cam
  • Frenchie: ?
  • ME: *Oh, this is going to be interesting* yes. but not on Adium.
  • Frenchie: ichat
  • Frenchie: do u like sex online ?`
  • ME: *Bold. Bold. Bold.* Explain ’sex online’.
  • Frenchie: cam to cam
  • ME: I have never done anything like that before. Why do you ask?
  • Frenchie: put your cam
  • ME: hmmm, I don’t know. You are male, yes?
  • Frenchie: yes
  • ME: why would I want to have ‘online sex’ with a man?
  • Frenchie: try
  • ME: *!!!!!!* You want me to have ‘online sex’ with you?
  • Frenchie: if you want…
  • ME: *Wait a minute, I didn’t suggest any of this. trying to trick me. Crafty Frenchie.* I don’t know. What do you do?
  • Frenchie: masturbing
  • ME: *Oh, I gotta blog this. How can I not?!* I see. Do you do this often?
  • Frenchie: often ?
  • ME: Do you have online sex many times?
  • Frenchie: no
  • Frenchie: i have do this 2 time
  • Frenchie: it’s new
  • Frenchie: i like…
  • ME: Well, if you were a woman, I might have said, “Yes.”
  • Frenchie: try..
  • Frenchie: u don’t know
  • Frenchie: u want or not ?
  • ME: I’m sorry, I cannot.
  • ME: are you really French?
  • Frenchie: bye.

To be truly French, the only other thing you need to understand is this, “There’s arrogance, breathtaking arrogance, and then there’s the French.”

Anyone up for online sex?

INCOMING: Mail From Mike on Safari and WebKit.

Published by
iMorph
at January 9, 2007 in Computing. 1 Comment

WebKit and Safari.

Just a note to point out that Safari is based on open-source software. Its core, WebKit, is completely open-source -WebKit.org

The Safari UI that Apple wraps around WebKit isn’t. Not that it matters so much. Browser UIs are just a surface — the most obvious and visible parts of browsers. But the biggest and by far most important parts are hidden below — kind of like an iceberg. Those parts are the engines that handle parsing and rendering of HTML and CSS (and SVG and other things), as well as engines for Javascript/DOM handling. Those are the parts that really matter. If those parts suck, wrapping a slick UI around them is kind of like slapping lipstick on a pig.

WebKit is a very active project, and the WebKit developers are doing a lot of interesting and important work. Example: Just yesterday, David Hyatt (one of the principal WebKit developers and, actually, the original creator of Firefox) checked in support for CSS “box shadows” - Box Shadows

And a couple weeks back, he checked in support for “text-stroke”, which is a way to add an colored outline around letters - Text-stroke

It’s unfortunate that many users seem to think that Firefox is the only open-source browser — the single browser to use, at the exclusion of all others. The part of the “Spread Firefox” campaign that promotes Firefox as a better alternative to Microsoft IE is a good thing. But to the extent that it works to promote Firefox as being an absolutely better browser that people should use to the exclusion of other browsers that have their own merits (Safari/WebKit, Konqueror, iCab, Opera), well, that’s not such a good thing.

Signed
–Mike

Unsolicited Advice and the Internet.

Published by
iMorph
at January 6, 2007 in Computing, Personal and Reflect. 0 Comments

“Welcome to the internet, everyone knows everything, and no one likes anything”

If you have ever used IRC or similar mass chat protocols, you understand the above quote. For those of you who are unaware of the joys of Internet Relay Chat, read:

The Internet on Browsers

Dear Internet

Hi. I am a MacBook User and I use Safari.app for all my browsing needs. Lately, I have been feeling pressured to use some browser called Firefox. The main talking point seems to be that Firefox is something called Open Source which makes the browser better. Is this true? Does simply having more people collaborating all over the world make Firefox better?

Signed

Searching for the Perfect Browser.

Dear Searching

Yes.

By not using FireFox you are putting money in the hands of
large companies like Microsoft and Apple. I mean, does Steve Jobs
or Bill Gates spend all that much time coding? Why should they make
all that money for doing nothing? Besides, who knows what will
happen to Safari or IE if either Apple or Microsoft goes out of business.

Remember, Searching, it is not the quality and usefulness of a piece of software that makes it good. No, what defines a good app is how and who wrote it. One company bad. Many hands good.

Love
The Internet

The Internet on TV.
Dear Internet

I watch Battle Star Galactica. Is this wrong?

Signed
Starbuck’s and Lee’s Love Child

Dear Love Child

What kind of stupid question is that?! Of course it is wrong.

Listen, Love Child, you should only watch the following: a) Docudramas about countries you will never visit, b) The West Wing, c) The Colbert Report, and d) NPR. That’s it. Anything else is a waste of your time.

Sincerely
The Internet

The Internet on Linux

Dear Internet

My friends were telling about an OpenSource OS called Linux and how it was going to save the world from capitalism/the U.S. by removing the yoke of proprietary source code. Afterwards, I felt guilty for supporting the evil American proprietary corporations Apple and Microsft. Should I ditch OS X and use Linux instead to rid myself of this guilt I am feeling?

Signed
A Concerned Citizen of The New Diversified Planet of Earth.

Dear Concerned Citizen

Immediately.

By not using Linux you are putting money in the hands of large companies like Microsoft and Apple. I mean, does Steve Jobs or Bill Gates spend all that much time coding? Why should they make all that money for doing nothing? Besides, who knows what will happen to OS X or XP if either Apple or Microsoft goes out of business.

Listen, Concerned Citizen, it is not the quality and usefulness of an OS that makes it good. No. What defines a good OS is how and who wrote it. Proprietary OS bad. Free Open Source OS savior of the world as we know it.

Friends Forever
The Internet