“Welcome to the internet, everyone knows everything, and no one likes anything”
If you have ever used IRC or similar mass chat protocols, you understand the above quote. For those of you who are unaware of the joys of Internet Relay Chat, read:
The Internet on Browsers
Dear Internet
Hi. I am a MacBook User and I use Safari.app for all my browsing needs. Lately, I have been feeling pressured to use some browser called Firefox. The main talking point seems to be that Firefox is something called Open Source which makes the browser better. Is this true? Does simply having more people collaborating all over the world make Firefox better?
Signed
Searching for the Perfect Browser.
Dear Searching
Yes.
By not using FireFox you are putting money in the hands of
large companies like Microsoft and Apple. I mean, does Steve Jobs
or Bill Gates spend all that much time coding? Why should they make
all that money for doing nothing? Besides, who knows what will
happen to Safari or IE if either Apple or Microsoft goes out of business.
Remember, Searching, it is not the quality and usefulness of a piece of software that makes it good. No, what defines a good app is how and who wrote it. One company bad. Many hands good.
Love
The Internet
The Internet on TV.
Dear Internet
I watch Battle Star Galactica. Is this wrong?
Starbuck’s and Lee’s Love Child
Dear Love Child
What kind of stupid question is that?! Of course it is wrong.
Listen, Love Child, you should only watch the following: a) Docudramas about countries you will never visit, b) The West Wing, c) The Colbert Report, and d) NPR. That’s it. Anything else is a waste of your time.
Sincerely
The Internet
The Internet on Linux
Dear Internet
My friends were telling about an OpenSource OS called Linux and how it was going to save the world from capitalism/the U.S. by removing the yoke of proprietary source code. Afterwards, I felt guilty for supporting the evil American proprietary corporations Apple and Microsft. Should I ditch OS X and use Linux instead to rid myself of this guilt I am feeling?
Signed
A Concerned Citizen of The New Diversified Planet of Earth.
Dear Concerned Citizen
Immediately.
By not using Linux you are putting money in the hands of large companies like Microsoft and Apple. I mean, does Steve Jobs or Bill Gates spend all that much time coding? Why should they make all that money for doing nothing? Besides, who knows what will happen to OS X or XP if either Apple or Microsoft goes out of business.
Listen, Concerned Citizen, it is not the quality and usefulness of an OS that makes it good. No. What defines a good OS is how and who wrote it. Proprietary OS bad. Free Open Source OS savior of the world as we know it.
Friends Forever
The Internet
