On Being French: A Sample Conversation.
What follows is not a work of fiction:
- Frenchie: hi
- ME: *To answer or not to answer. I cannot resist.* hi.
- Frenchie: asl
- ME: *asl! WTF! That is so 20th Century IRC* you first.
- Frenchie: 30 m
- Frenchie: france
- Frenchie: u
- ME: 39, M, Tokyo.
- Frenchie: cam
- Frenchie: ?
- ME: *Oh, this is going to be interesting* yes. but not on Adium.
- Frenchie: ichat
- Frenchie: do u like sex online ?`
- ME: *Bold. Bold. Bold.* Explain ’sex online’.
- Frenchie: cam to cam
- ME: I have never done anything like that before. Why do you ask?
- Frenchie: put your cam
- ME: hmmm, I don’t know. You are male, yes?
- Frenchie: yes
- ME: why would I want to have ‘online sex’ with a man?
- Frenchie: try
- ME: *!!!!!!* You want me to have ‘online sex’ with you?
- Frenchie: if you want…
- ME: *Wait a minute, I didn’t suggest any of this. trying to trick me. Crafty Frenchie.* I don’t know. What do you do?
- Frenchie: masturbing
- ME: *Oh, I gotta blog this. How can I not?!* I see. Do you do this often?
- Frenchie: often ?
- ME: Do you have online sex many times?
- Frenchie: no
- Frenchie: i have do this 2 time
- Frenchie: it’s new
- Frenchie: i like…
- ME: Well, if you were a woman, I might have said, “Yes.”
- Frenchie: try..
- Frenchie: u don’t know
- Frenchie: u want or not ?
- ME: I’m sorry, I cannot.
- ME: are you really French?
- Frenchie: bye.
To be truly French, the only other thing you need to understand is this, “There’s arrogance, breathtaking arrogance, and then there’s the French.”
Anyone up for online sex?
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