On Being French: A Sample Conversation.
What follows is not a work of fiction:
- Frenchie: hi
- ME: *To answer or not to answer. I cannot resist.* hi.
- Frenchie: asl
- ME: *asl! WTF! That is so 20th Century IRC* you first.
- Frenchie: 30 m
- Frenchie: france
- Frenchie: u
- ME: 39, M, Tokyo.
- Frenchie: cam
- Frenchie: ?
- ME: *Oh, this is going to be interesting* yes. but not on Adium.
- Frenchie: ichat
- Frenchie: do u like sex online ?`
- ME: *Bold. Bold. Bold.* Explain ’sex online’.
- Frenchie: cam to cam
- ME: I have never done anything like that before. Why do you ask?
- Frenchie: put your cam
- ME: hmmm, I don’t know. You are male, yes?
- Frenchie: yes
- ME: why would I want to have ‘online sex’ with a man?
- Frenchie: try
- ME: *!!!!!!* You want me to have ‘online sex’ with you?
- Frenchie: if you want…
- ME: *Wait a minute, I didn’t suggest any of this. trying to trick me. Crafty Frenchie.* I don’t know. What do you do?
- Frenchie: masturbing
- ME: *Oh, I gotta blog this. How can I not?!* I see. Do you do this often?
- Frenchie: often ?
- ME: Do you have online sex many times?
- Frenchie: no
- Frenchie: i have do this 2 time
- Frenchie: it’s new
- Frenchie: i like…
- ME: Well, if you were a woman, I might have said, “Yes.”
- Frenchie: try..
- Frenchie: u don’t know
- Frenchie: u want or not ?
- ME: I’m sorry, I cannot.
- ME: are you really French?
- Frenchie: bye.
To be truly French, the only other thing you need to understand is this, “There’s arrogance, breathtaking arrogance, and then there’s the French.”
Anyone up for online sex?
Wow… This is only the type of stuff you see on Something Awful. I never really thought it happened in real life.
*sigh* At least the F1 season is starting soon.
As sad as it is, it happens.