Epimetheus

Married With Children/The Wild Gamblers: Why Your Parents are Completely Nuts.

They had you. Not only did they have you, they opted to keep you. For better or for worse, they promised society that they would take responsibility for you. Armed with an arsenal of hopes and dreams, they rolled the dice of life. Spun the wheel of chance. Skated on the thin ice. The possible negative outcomes were unlimited: Lil’ Kim, Chris Crocker, Goatse.cx guy, Star Wars Kid, Britney Spears, O. J., Sir John Major, etc. Anything was and still is possible. Guess what? You will probably make the same, oops, I meant, do the same thing. I’ll stop here and let that sink in. “You will do the same thing.”

Okay? Stop crying. I have a solution. Okay, not so much a solution.

My Dream: An army of real-life Hiro Nakamuras, Maias, and Isaac Mendezes.

Wouldn’t it be great! They would just pop up right before the vital deposit was made! “Hi. Ummm, you might want to rethink releasing/accepting that load. Just a thought.”