Somnus
Sleep is awesome. According to this Ask Yahoo! page, we burn calories while we sleep:
This weight-loss calculator from FitWatch.com asked us to enter our weight and how long we planned to sleep. According to the ensuing calculations, a 160-pound person who sleeps eight hours will lose roughly 549 calories in the process.
Don’t ask.
Derek’s Original Sleep Diet™!: Lose the blubber while you slumber!
Don’t have time for the gym? Don’t have enough for a Pilates trainer? Don’t have space in your home for workout equipment? Don’t worry! Derek’s Original Sleep Diet™ is for you! Call now!
My future. I sees it clear ass day.
Unwanted Wake-up Call.
Our neighborhood council leader rang us at 0833 this morning with non-earth shattering news. Calls should never be placed to anyone, unless you have plans, before 10 am on a Saturday. There are exceptions. Here is the checklist:
- Is Godzilla thrashing Tokyo Bay?
- Is the planet on fire?
- Is the Sun about to crash into the Earth?
- Is there a tattooed Romulan named Nero drilling down to the Earth’s core?
- Daleks?
- Giant tidal waves?
- Fire falling from the sky?
- Massive asteroids?
- The Earth’s rotation is out of contro?
- Animals of Earth working together?
- Collision with antimatter Earth imminent?
- Vogon Constructor Fleet?
No? Then DON’T CALL!
Options
Allow me to suggests several non-intrusive methods of communication:
- Letter
- Post-it on door
- Tweet
- Instant Message
- Blog post
If the above are not viable, CALL AFTER 10 AM!
Resources:
