Archive for the 'Hikaru Rocks.' Category

My Wife is Better Than Yours - In Some Ways: A Conversation.

The Yoshikawa Curse: “We all end up marrying a divorcee.”

The Players:
N.K. ..... Oldest Daughter (19).
E.K. .... Middle Daughter (18?).
WP .... Wife (Confidential).
ME .... Me (I'm not tellin').
  • Wife Person (WP): N.K’s boyfriend is a divorcee. The Yoshikawa curse strikes again!
  • ME: *Thinks* Oh, yeah.
  • WP: WEll, except for my brother: In his case he is the divorcee.
  • ME: Uh, huh. *Waits*
  • WP: I know why.
  • ME: Really?
  • WP: Yeah. Because no one in our family is a part of Soka Gakkai.
  • ME: ….
  • WP: Soka Gakkai says we, people, are doomed to repeat our mistakes, unless we do that chanting thing. I didn’t chant and ended up married to you.
  • ME: *That sorta hurt, but who am I to argue with the truth* True.
  • WP: So, I told E.K. to start chanting so she can break the curse for her future kids.
  • ME: LOL! I see.
  • NARRATOR: Our hero runs that last statement around in his mind, “E.K. can break the Yoshikawa curse. Yoshikawa curse….Yoshikawa…
  • ME: *Kisses wife on top of head* She _is_ your daughter.
  • WP: Huh?
  • ME: Think about it.
  • WP/E.K.’s Step-mother: OH! OH!
  • ME: I love you.

Whoops.

Wedding Anniversary.

She forgot again! Which is why I love her.

Japanese Things My Wife Didn’t do…

in 2006:

  • ME: Did you wear a kimono?
  • HER: No. The last time I wore my kimono was 21 years ago.
  • ME: Okay.
  • HER: Maybe Erika will wear it on Coming of Age day (成人式).
  • ME: Okay, the answer to this has got to be yes, did you go to kabuki?
  • HER: No. But I did go to Kabuki for kids two years ago. I have never been to real Kabuki.
  • ME: How was it?
  • HER: They explained how everything worked in Kabuki. Since it is not in modern day Japanese, you need to know the story before hand. Nicole, Erika, and myself fell asleep once it started.
  • ME: Sounds like opera.
  • HER: Exactly.
  • ME: Did you walk three step behind your husband?
  • HER: NO.
  • ME: 三つ指? (Bowing while pressing three fingers of each hand on floor as a greeting to your husband)?
  • HER: NEVER in my life.
  • ME: Tea Ceremony?
  • HER: No.
  • ME: You are not doing very well. Are you really Japanese?
  • HER: I think so. I thought so…….
  • ME: Eat fish everyday?
  • HER: I like Sushi, Mochi, Natto, Japanese tea……食べ物ばっかり。(Food. Food. Food.) I own a Kimono even though I worn it only once. My sister borrowed it from me. ねっ、りっぱな日本人でしょ。(See, I am a great and wonderful Japanese person, right?)
  • ME: LOL!
  • HER: Do I look French?!
  • ME: No, you look very Japanese to me.
  • HER: I gotta go to the bathroom.

When Dreams Go Bad.

The Man with No Upper Lip:

Before the X-Files and Chris Carter, there was Rod Serling and his creations The Twilight Zone and Night Gallery. Mr. Serling (1924-1975):

Rod Serling, one of television’s most prolific writers, is best known for his science fiction television series, The Twilight Zone. He believed that the role of the writer was to “menace the public conscience.” Throughout his life Serling used radio, television, and film as “vehicles of social criticism.”

Hikaru’s Nightmare Guide. Pilot: Hashimoto’s Rats.

Genre: Horror.

Tagline: The kind of voyeurism you want to avoid. Especially, in a dream.

Plot Outline: The Hashimotos are evil fifty-something neighbors
to a young housewife. Mr. and Mrs. Hashimoto allow pigeons to
procreate on their balcony, but verbally assault the young
housewife when four of her parakeet's feathers find their way onto
the Hashimoto balcony. <-- This bit is true.

Unfortunately, rats build a tunnel between the two units giving
the young housewife a first hand look into the Hashimoto living
room. <-- This is the dream bit.

CAST:

D.L.A.          ... Disinterested Husband < -- The role I always play.
Hikaru          ... Young Housewife.
The Hashimotos  ... Themselves.
Rats            ... Rats.

Hikaru’s first words upon waking, “怖かった! That was scary!” She claims the image is “seared” into her brain.

What’s on Santa’s Hard Drive?

Christmas Stockings.

Our conversation:

ME:  So, anyway, the kid had no idea what a xmas
     stocking was and kept calling it a 'sock'.
HER: I think it looks like a boot.
ME:  *SIGHS*
HER: Why does it look like a boot, if it is a stocking?
ME:  (EXASPERATED) I don't know. Maybe they wanted to spruce it up?
HER: Why a stocking?
ME:  I don't know.
HER: (SERIOUS) Maybe Santa has a stocking fetish. He comes down the
     chimney, feels up the stocking, and then leaves a gift.
ME:  LOL.

Santa pR0n

Maybe Santa spends the summer searching for hot stocking sites and phots: Pantyhose penetration stories :: come in my nylon panties :: indulging foot fetishes