• Jungle Fever Card: Get Your Interracial Love On.
  

  Excludes bearer(s) from physical, emotional, verbal, and financial attacks/abuse.

  Bearers include offspring of a Jungle-Fever relationship.

• The Jeffersons/Buppie/Uncle Tom Card: Movin’ on Up.
  

  Excludes bearer(s) from interference when moving out of a depressed minority neighborhood and into a “White” neighborhood.

  This card can be played against either your own people trying to hold you down or Da Man.

• White-Guilt.
  

  This card allows bearer(s) to halt insulting praise, “She is very articulate”, special treatment, and handouts from non-minorities.

• Token Minority.
  

  Bearer(s) do not count as a Cultural-diversity point for non-minorities.

NEW! White Devil Cards!

You can play too! Check out these new cards!

• Hard-Luck Story: Hey, just because I am not a person-of-color doesn’t mean I am privileged!
  

  This card allows the bearer(s) to counter the standard Race Card™

  You no longer need to feel guilty just because of the color of your skin.

• Keepin’ It Real.
  

  Bearer(s) can invoke this card when a minority displays “ghetto” behavior.

  This card cannot be used to negate the Jeffersons/Buppie/Uncle Tom card.

What is the American dream? Dictionary.app says it is:

The American dream is the traditional social ideals of the U.S., such as equality, democracy, and material prosperity.

Yeah? So, the next question is, what is the Japanese dream?

The Public Has Spoken. Sort of.

• ME: What is the Japanese dream?
• HER (Nao): Japanese dream? There isn’t one!
• ME: There isn’t?
• HER: We don’t have a dream….
• ME: Come on, there has to be something.
• HER: Well….ummmm. Oh! Stability! We want stability! We don’t like change.
• NARRATOR: Nao confers with her brother and his wife.
• HER: Yeah, stability. For most men they want to work for the same company until retirement which is what wives expect from their husbands.
• ME: That’s it? Don’t you want anything? [The ugly American displaying his inability to grok that the Japanese are not slaves to consumerism like oil-hungry SUV-driving Americans.] /me suppresses a bout of laughter.
• HER: A HOUSE! We want to own our own homes!
• NARRATOR: Brother and sister-in-law nod vigorously in agreement.
• ME: That’s it?
• HER: Yeah. We are totally afraid of change and don’t take chances. Not like Americans. You guys always have dreams and try to do things. [Dejected.] We don’t have dreams. Nothing, yo.

NOTE: Wife said the exact same thing, but I didn’t believe her. Sorry, honey.

===================================================

WHAT IS FEAR™?

FEAR™ is a system-wide background service designed to watch for and avoid life-threatening situations. When a FEAR™ daemon is called it automatically takes control of BODY and executes a scripted avoidance response. FEAR™ has two run modes AUTO and manual.

USAGE:

FEAR™ can be edited by the user in manual mode when the a) user requests access AFTER a life threatening event to set up a daemon or b) user would like to edit/review a FEAR™ daemon’s triggers and priority. This includes deletion of a daemon.

To use FEAR™ in manual mode take relevant output from PowersOfObservations™ and enter it into the appropriate categories below:

- Situation leading up to life threatening event.

- Date

- Time

- Location

- Animate and inanimate objects

- Color(s)

- Sound(s)

- Smell(s)

- Weather condition

NOTE* Ensure that PowersOfObservation™ (PoW) is NOT set to VERBOSE. (See KNOWN ISSUES.)

Add action required to avoid situation in the future and set the daemon’s priority to HIGH, MEDIUM, AND LOW.

NOTE* Inclusion of the above is dictated by the user, unless in AUTO mode. In AUTO mode FEAR™ determines data to be included. USE AUTO MODE WITH CAUTION!

KNOWN ISSUES:

- FEAR™ does not store verbose data generated by POW. Verbose output from POW exceeds FEAR’s available table layout causing FEAR™ to assign multiple entries to one field. Set PoW’s logging to normal when using in conjunction with FEAR™.

- DO NOT LEAVE FEAR™ UNATTENDED IN AUTO MODE! If left unattended, Fear™ has been known to set random and non-life threatening events as dangerous. It is highly advised that users a) not leave FEAR™ in AUTO mode and b ) run RealityCheck on a regular basis, c) make necessary changes in edit mode.

- A bug exists where the FEAR™ run mode is set to AUTO at birth. Set run mode to Manual.

- Over time as the number of daemons related to FEAR™ increase they are known to interfere with both LogicalThought™ and RationalBehavior™.

NOTES:

FEAR™ has not been updated since the .01 release and may not function properly with current versions of BODY. The given addresses below are known to bounce. Some claim to have actually received replies but this is questionable.

SEE ALSO:

Adrenalin(1), BladderControl, HeartRate, RemainConscious, and Sweat 0.2a.

===================================================

Please send FEAR™ bug reports to <prayers.God@heaven.com>.

MAINTAINER: GOD <God@heaven.com>

FEAR™ was originally written by God.

Copyright (C) #### Genesis Foundation, Inc.

This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,

but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of

MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. <– stolen from actual Readme file.

The Main Thrust.

The question that inspired the above is, how do you modify the behavior of a large group of people without making a mess? Since two brains are better than one, I enlisted Stephanie’s help. Submitted for your approval is our four-step plan to converting those who are afraid of how change will affect them:

1. The people wanting the change have to be aware that resistance is due to fear. Fear of the unknown and loss of power.
2. Help those you want to change to discuss and confront their fears: What are you afraid might happen if we do [new thing]?” — and make a list (giving shape to fears so they can be confronted to reality)
3. The Reality Check: Examine the shape the fear takes (identified in #2) and evaluating if it is “real.”
4. Offer solution: “If we found a solution to fear object #X, would you be comfortable with [new thing]?”

Linkage.

• Personal Change
• The blog entry that got me thinking: Life and death on the Tokyo metro
• The Chicken Little Award: The Chicken Little Award is a dubious achievement award given by the center to people and organizations that Caruba considers to be engaged in “deliberately false, mass media-driven scare campaigns” regarding environmental matters.

They had you. Not only did they have you, they opted to keep you. For better or for worse, they promised society that they would take responsibility for you. Armed with an arsenal of hopes and dreams, they rolled the dice of life. Spun the wheel of chance. Skated on the thin ice. The possible negative outcomes were unlimited: Lil’ Kim, Chris Crocker, Goatse.cx guy, Star Wars Kid, Britney Spears, O. J., Sir John Major, etc. Anything was and still is possible. Guess what? You will probably make the same, oops, I meant, do the same thing. I’ll stop here and let that sink in. “You will do the same thing.”

Okay? Stop crying. I have a solution. Okay, not so much a solution.

My Dream: An army of real-life Hiro Nakamuras, Maias, and Isaac Mendezes.

Wouldn’t it be great! They would just pop up right before the vital deposit was made! “Hi. Ummm, you might want to rethink releasing/accepting that load. Just a thought.”

Twitter gets a karma bot! Ladies and gentlemen, meet plusplusbot! For those of you thinking, “Jeez, what the hell is Derek on about this time,” read on:

Did someone go out of their way to help you? Is a web site being particularly slow and flaky? Make your feelings known with plusplusbot. You can ++ (pronounced “plusplus”) or — (”minusminus”) anything. Think brownie points (but archived forever).

Why plusplus and minusminus?

An Explanation: Programming: The Increment Operator.

Geek zone ahead:

If foo has the value 4, then the expression foo++ has the value 4, but it changes the value of foo to 5.

The decrement “–” operator does the opposite. Are we all clear on that?

Plusplusbot++ A mighty swell bot.

Torture

In addition to state-sponsored torture, individuals or groups may inflict torture on others for similar reasons; however, the motive for torture can also be for the sadistic gratification of the torturer, as was the case with Mirror Wars.

There is bad and then there is Mirror Wars: Reflection One. Let’s see what good_word has to say:

This was a B movie trying to be more - which it could have been. I watched it because it had two of my faves - Malcolm McDowell and Rutger Hauer. I ask them why such good actors, especially Malcolm, would degrade themselves by being in this movie.

How could a movie suck so much?

• It could have been a good story but it had some major inconsistencies…
• …despicable dub-in. Did they hire bums off the street to do this?
• Rutger Hauer is technically in this, but he’s in two scenes. And just what he is, I wasn’t sure.
• There is a dogfight eventually, but it consists of 2 CGI F-15s shooting 3 CGI missiles at the plane, and the plane “dodging” them.
• We see him, the good guy pilot, fall in love with an American animal rights person who looks 100% Russian (pretty, but doesn’t even remotely look American)

Alas, we have a masochist in the crowd who suggests that you submit yourself to the travesty titled Mirror Wars:

Did you see a lot of Russian movies lately? Are you interested in seeing one? Then don’t miss “Mirror Wars”! Well, here’s another reason - you see lots of airplanes up close. And, given a good Russian tradition to really fly aircrafts instead of painting exercises, there are plenty of moments where you’ll cheer “WOW!”

It takes all kinds.

A sign of good parenting? EK = Middle daughter. NS = Oldest daughter.

• NS: You need to get a life.
• EK: You need to die.

I love my kids. I really, really do.

Even if you have never wondered how photographers manage those fantastic insect shots, the following will be of interest to you. Maybe.

To photograph any insect, carefully capture it with a net or seize it carefully from the backside or topside, depending upon the insect,

Check.

Then chill it in a container that has protected ice.

Check? For how long?

Long enough for it to cease action (that is, to go into hibernation).

This cannot be good for the insect. Not that I care. You know, just saying. Anyway, the insect chills in the fridge for a bit and then gets photographed.

I bet you are thinking, “what happens if BusHitler, his oil cronies, and SUVs send a sudden burst of Global Warmening my way; causing my little critter to thaw before I am done?”

If the insect should warm too quickly, it will fly to a sunny window. You can recapture it, rechill it, photograph it; then finally give it its freedom sooner than if it had been caught in an early fall or spring freeze!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the proper bug shooting technique: Induce temporary hibernation. Yeah, that’ll show ‘em who’s boss! Try to fly off and ruin my shot! Ha! Sleep!

What follows is secondhand information from a fairly reliable source: My parents. Ready? “Derek, you were a wonderful child.”

ME Pre-beta 0.4: STA (Surveillance and Target Acquisition)

Questions, questions, and more questions!

• School? What’s that?
• Times table? Why?
• Homework? Why?
• What’s your name? You wanna be friends?
• Why are you hiding in the closet?
• The pledge of what?
• May I go to the restroom?
• How?
• Why?
• What’s that?
• Who?
• Why does he run around pretending to be Wonder Woman? She is a girl and he is a boy, right? Oh. ????????
• Girls?
• Where is she from!? Japan? Where’s that? :: Target Acquired.
  

  I remember the day. She was over there and I was over there. She walked from there to there, said, “hi,” and then walked back over there, and then into the house. Well dressed, measured steps, and beautiful straight black hair.

  Love at first sight. NOTE TO SELF: Go to Japan. Marry Japanese girl.

ME Beta 1.0 b01: Jr. and Sr. High.

Whew, just made it!

ME 1.0: The Hard Work Begins.

School, work, military, “You are what,” military + Kids + wife, “You slut!”; America -wife; Japan with Wife 2.0, work (Nova) + kids + wife 2.0 for 17 years, and last Nova folds leaving me unemployed.

ME 2.0: New Horizons.

………Coming Soon……….

BC = Body Control.
VC = Visual Control.
APC = Appendage Control.
AU-IN: Audio In.

INTERNAL COMMUNICATION
00:00:00 BC: Visual update.
00:00:01 VC: No approaching traffic from the rear.
00:00:01 BC: Okay. VC give us a forward sweep.
00:00:02 VC: Bicycle traffic at our 12 o'clock.
             Mid-twenties. Slow mover. Eye contact established.
00:00:02 BC: APC, prepare for passing maneuver.
00:00:02 APC: Roger.
00:00:03 VC: Traffic veering right. I repeat traffic
             veering right.
00:00:04 APC be advised...we will be passing
             traffic on our right.
00:00:05 BC  MARK 05 SECONDS.
00:00:07 APC: Roger. Course change: Left.
00:00:09 BC: Commence pass on our right.
00:00:09 APC: Course change underway.
00:00:10 BC  MARK 10 SECONDS. Course change looking good.
00:00:12 VC: WARNING: TRAFFIC COURSE CHANGE! TRAFFIC NOW
             VEERING LEFT!
00:00:12 BC: WE AREN'T CLEAR! BREAK LEFT! ALL STOP!
00:00:12 VC - APC: ROGER. EXECUTING!
00:00:13 BC: CONTACT! TILTING. GRAVITATION PULL INCREASING!
             APC...DEPLOY LEFT LEG!
00:00:13 APC: DEPLOYED!
00:00:15 BC: å®FALL AVERTED! ALL STATIONS REPORT!
00:00:17 AC: No damage.
00:00:17 APC: 100%.
00:00:18 BC: Roger. VOICE. Curse that SOB out!
00:00:20 BC: MARK 20 SECONDS!
00:00:20 VB: Roger. SETTING VOLUME TO +5. PROCEEDING
             WITH VERBAL ABUSE, "Why the hell did
             you go right and then turn left!? Idiot!"
00:00:24 BC: AU-IN REPORT!
00:00:25 BC: MARK 25 SECONDS.
00:00:26 AU-IN: Opening audio channel: "I am sorry."
00:00:28 BC: This guy is an idiot. Let's get back underway.